“Today show”: Lost again – Trump is not even “Post of the Year”
“The guy doesn’t work at all!” It was said ambiguously on Friday evening in the annual review of the “heute-show” on ZDF. What was meant – of course – Donald Trump. Of course, the President of the United States holding office was the subject of the review of the year. But at the award of the traditional “Vollpfosten of the year” he still got nothing. “He won’t get anything from us,” said Welke. After all, there was an award for his party, the Republicans. For the “absurd perseverance in the president’s rectum”.
The ranks of Germany’s political ranks also remained largely unappreciated. The princes of Germany, for example, would have deserved it by preventing the hard lockdown that Chancellor Merkel had called for much earlier. Or Health Minister Jens Spahn, who promised in October that a second lockdown would “never” come. Welke saw this as an example of the miserable pandemic communication: “You should only promise what you can keep.” Spahn’s announcement that a “normalization” will occur in the summer of 2021 is a fear of heaven. Because, according to Welke: “How long this will drag on, nobody knows.”
Criticism of Corona measures: “Nobody understands that!”
“We lost control of Corona because Germany failed in autumn,” said Welke. Lack of strategy, inadequate explanations (“Who should be able to see through the measures? Nobody understands that!”).
Nurse Birte Schneider gave an example of the situation in the hospitals. It is true that politicians and nurses would suckle their way into the doctors and nurses with a lot of whispering wording, but the care bonus was insufficiently paid out, also because of insane bureaucratic hurdles. “In 70 percent of the hospitals there was no bonus. Because of the sleep deprivation I have forgotten everything that politicians promised us.”
Trick against lateral thinkers: distract and then “ram in the vaccination syringe”
The corona deniers were the first to receive the “Vollpfosten” award. Sebastian Puffpaff gave the laudation on the mix of “esoteric and imperial citizens with Angegoogled knowledge”. Puffpaff asked not to exclude lateral thinkers. Many of the relatives have such an “Uncle Manfred” who is slowly drifting “towards madness”. He shouldn’t be treated as an outsider, but “just hold him tight in a quiet moment and when he relaxes, ram the injection syringe into him.” The Attila Hildmann prize was awarded on behalf of the “whole weirdo”.
Philipp Amthor (CDU), “the oldest child in the world” and Thomas Kemmereich (FDP) ensured that the politicians didn’t go away empty-handed. He was elected Prime Minister in Thuringia in February in a supposedly clever move – unfortunately with the votes of the AfD. The coup entered the “worst of 2020” as a “political breach of the dam”. And then also wrong: Kemmerich resigned after four days after a massive riot.
Internationally, Belarus’s Aljaksandr Lukashenka has been recognized for electoral fraud, the suppression of the opposition and the recommendation of vodka as a means to combat corona.
Jogi Löw – athletic post of the year!
No surprise: A “solid post” was also distributed in the wake of the scandal surrounding the terribly failed German DAX representative Wirecard. Only: who would receive it? The hiding manager Jan Marsalek? Chancellor Merkel, who was still promoting the former “porn boy” (Christian Ehring) in China? Oberschummler Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, who whispered Mrs. Merkel as a lulling lobbyist? Or is Finance Minister Scholz?
Tataa: The award went to BaFin (Ehring: “Abbreviation for ‘Federal Agency for Somehow Nothing’.”)! The supervisory authority had not only overheard or denied all suspicions against Wirecard for years. Rather, BaFin employees had dealt with Wirecard shares themselves. Sure, that has to be rewarded.
The same applies to Clemens Tönnies, the “legendary pig priest”. And Jogi Löw, who had the “solid post” in the sports sector. Jury statement: 0: 6! Everything went wrong with Jogi, with Jeff Bezos it’s going well. The Amazon boss, already the richest person in the world, tripled his profit in the third quarter of 2020. There was of course a “solid post” for making a stupid and stupid profit from the pandemic while the retail sector is staggering into ruin – but it was given to the neighbor.
Hubert Aiwanger: “I am Markus Söder’s guilty conscience”
It was not only honored, but also thanked. The Bavarian Minister of Economic Affairs, Hubert Aiwanger, was honored in the new section, “Today’s show just says thank you”. Welke called him “explicitly without irony” one of “the last authentic politicians in our country”. Since the legendary “buddy speech” on the Corona measures in spring, it has also had cult status for the citizens beyond the white sausage equator.
He sees himself, he revealed in an interview with Fabian Köster, as “Markus Söder’s guilty conscience”. He, who through his childhood in rural areas was properly “grounded”, who “worked on the farm from an early age” and “learned to deal with animals”, explained: “I just look over all the things again and get a lot of things get back down to earth and say ‘Please think about it again.’ He (Markus Söder) is often a bit impulsive and I maybe the down-to-earth element. ” What will Markus have been happy about this authentic interview!
“Poop year 2020”: It can’t get any worse. Hopefully…
At the end of the “shit year 2020” the biggest “solid post” of all was awarded. Friedemann Weise praised the year and hope: “What a year two thousand and twenty, one thing is clear, it can’t get any worse!”
Hi there? Just make a promise what you can keep!